Wednesday, 29 July 2009

Anticipation


I am grateful to my friend Jake (see oldscroteshome) for reminding me that at 5 minutes and 6 seconds past 4 o'clock in the morning on Friday the 7th of August this year, it will be

04:05:06-07/08/09

Isn't it good to have something to look forward to!

FOOD


Well the weather continues to be all too much like a typical English summer, and looking at the Met. Office web site, it isn't likely to improve over the next two weeks. That is a bit depressing as next week, we are going for a short break in Cumbria, still Jay the autistic Spaniel won't complain.

At least we are starting to crop some decent vegetables, the picture shows a few standard courgettes (Zucchini if you live on the wrong side of the Atlantic), a small "Burpless" cucumber and the yellow thing is a new variety of courgette of the type known as "One Ball" Is it possible that this was Hitler's favourite vegetable?

A few days ago we dug up some potatoes, one of the many "Pentland" varieties, from 4 seed potatoes we cropped 15.5 Lbs (approx 7 Kg) and our Broad beans have so far produced about 3 lbs (shelled weight) so at least we can eat for a week.

Friday, 24 July 2009

Healthy Eating?

THE FINAL WORD ON NUTRITION

After an exhaustive review of the research literature, here's the final word on nutrition and health:

1. Japanese eat very little fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
2. Mexicans eat a lot of fat and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
3. Chinese drink very little red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
4. Italians drink excessive amounts of red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
5. Germans drink beer and eat lots of sausages and fats and suffer fewer heart attacks than us.
6. The French eat foie-gras, full fat cheese and drink red wine and suffer fewer heart attacks than us

CONCLUSION: Eat and drink what you like. Speaking English is apparently what kills you.

Sunday, 19 July 2009

Happy Birthday


Forgive me for wishing myself a happy birthday. I'm not giving away my age, but it's 40 years since I got the key to the door.

Thomas has been round to see me, and as you can see he helped my blow the candles out on my cake.

Don't you just love spit covered birthday Cake! Yummeee!
To the left is Jay the autistic Spaniel begging for a piece of cake. He wanted to help blow the candles out - but he's not as good as Thomas.

Thursday, 16 July 2009

Prince of Darkness

For the uninitiated, there was once a man called Joe Lucas who was the founder of the Lucas electrical company which supplied a lot of the electrical components to the British Motor industry (Cars and Motorbikes) - These were notorious for their non reliability -therefore lights fail - ergo DARKNESS. So Joe became the Prince of Darkness. There follows a treatise on how electricity works

A Treatise on the Importance of Smoke
by Joseph Lucas

Electricity depends on proper circuit functioning, which is the transmission of negative ions by retention of the visible spectral manifestation known as "smoke". Smoke is the thing that makes electrical circuits work. We know this to be true because every time one lets the smoke out of an electrical circuit, it stops working. This can be verified repeatedly through empirical testing. For example, if one places a copper bar across the terminals of a battery, prodigious quantities of smoke are liberated and the battery shortly ceases to function. In addition, if one observes smoke escaping from an electrical component such as a Lucas voltage regulator, it will also be observed that the component no longer functions. The logic is elementary and inescapable!

The function of the wiring harness is to conduct the smoke from one device to another. When the wiring springs a leak and lets all the smoke out of the system, nothing works afterward.

Starter motors were considered unsuitable for British motorcycles for some time largely because they consumed large quantities of
smoke, requiring very unsightly large wires.

It has been reported that Lucas electrical components are possibly more prone to electrical leakage than their Bosch, Japanese or American counterparts. Experts point out that this is because Lucas is British, and all things British leak. British engines leak oil, British shock absorbers, hydraulic forks and disk brake systems leak fluid, British tyres leak air and British Intelligence leaks national defence secrets. Therefore, it follows that British electrical systems must leak smoke. Once again, the logic is clear and inescapable.

In conclusion, the basic concept of transmission of electrical energy in the form of smoke provides a logical explanation of the mysteries of electrical components - especially British units manufactured by Joseph Lucas, Ltd.

"A gentleman does not motor about after dark."

Joseph Lucas (1842 - 1903)

Wednesday, 15 July 2009

First Harvest


The first of the years crop is ready. After planting 12 cabbages in my new raised beds, 11 of them bolted (that means flowered and started to produce seeds, rendering them bitter and tough) and therefore had to be composted, we did try a few 'spring greens' from the leaves, but they were a teensy bit tough. the one remaining cabbage has hearted up over the last few days and has been harvested to make way for a follow-up crop of Leeks. The picture shows the potential prize winning cabbage held aloft by "She who must be obeyed" - I sometimes refer to her as "the first wife" just to keep her on her toes!

Saturday, 11 July 2009

Yorkshire Dales

I had a good day yesterday, Pete, Jim and I went out for a ride, all on older machines, all 500cc single cylinders. (AJS model18, Vincent Comet and a BSA ZB33) We rode via a diverse route taking in Grassington, Kettlewell and then over the moors to Middleham, then on to the top of the Yorkshire Dales, close to a place called Muker.
We then returned via Buttertubs pass (don't you just love that name) Hawes, Settle and Home. None of the bikes missed a beat and I think mine is the youngest at 56 Years old. Well over 100 miles travelled, at times at quite a jaunty pace.
In the evening we went to a 40th birthday party. Happy Birthday Oggy!
Somebody commented that I don't look 40!!! The wife said "No, but he bloody did when he was!"

Tuesday, 7 July 2009

Congratulations to Connie Hartley


I have just heard via her Dad that my beautiful young friend Connie Hartley only went and WON the Junior National Outdoor Archery championship this last weekend. She has been on the England team for almost a year now and doing really well.

Why don't we hear good news like this on the National news occasionally. Probably because we hear far too much about overpaid drama-queens that kick a football up and down a lawn and get paid millions for the priviledge

Youngsters like Connie and her long suffering parents who spend hours every week practicing and driving great distances up and down the country never get a mention.

So I say again well done Connie - You are a Star.

Saturday, 4 July 2009

Things are looking up!

An elderly couple - Margaret and Bert, moved to Texas .
Bert always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home.
Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife, 'Notice anything different about me?'
Margaret looked him over. 'Nope.'
Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots.
Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, 'Notice anything different NOW?'
Margaret looked up and exclaimed, 'Bert, what's different? It's hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it'll be hanging down again tomorrow!'
Furious, Bert yelled,'AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT'S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?'
'Nope', she replied.
'IT'S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT'S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!!!!'

Without changing her expression,

Margaret replied,

'Shoulda bought a hat, Bert.
Shoulda bought a hat.'

Thursday, 2 July 2009

Mrs Slocombe

Just heard that Mrs Slocombe (The wonderful Mollie Sugden) has died. I hope she and Miss Brahms are making people laugh in the great department store in the sky. We should all stroke a pussy in remembrance of a true classic of British Sit.com.

Wednesday, 1 July 2009

TWITTER

Heard a lot about this Twitter thing so I thought I would have a look, not quite worked out the point of it yet but the link to my twittling is http://twitter.com/HGJ1948