Dear Mr. Cameron
Please find below our suggestion for fixing
Instead of giving billions of pounds to banks that will squander
the money on lavish parties and unearned bonuses, use the following plan.
You can call it the Patriotic Retirement Plan:
There are about 10 million people over 50 in the work force.
Pay them £1 million each severance for early retirement with
the following stipulations:
1) They MUST retire.
Ten million job openings - unemployment fixed
2) They MUST buy a new British car.
Ten million cars ordered - Car Industry fixed
3) They MUST either buy a house or pay off their mortgage -
Housing Crisis fixed
4) They MUST send their kids toschool/college/university -
Crime rate fixed
5) They MUST buy £100 WORTH of alcohol/tobacco a week ......
and there's your money back in duty/tax etc
6) Instead of stuffing around with the carbon emissions trading
scheme that makes us pay for the major polluters, tell the greedy
bastards to reduce their pollution emissions by 75% within 5 years or we shut
them down.
It can't get any easier than that!
P.S. If more money is needed, have all members of parliament pay
back their falsely claimed expenses and second home allowances
If you think this would work, please forward to everyone you
know. If not, please disregard.
Grumpies of the World Unite
Also………..
Let's put the pensioners in jail and the criminals in a nursing
home. This way the pensioners would have access to showers, hobbies
and walks.
They'd receive unlimited free prescriptions, dental and medical treatment,
wheel chairs etc and they'd receive money instead of paying it out.
They would have constant video monitoring, so they could be
helped instantly, if they fell, or needed assistance.
Bedding would be washed twice a week, and all clothing would be
ironed and returned to them.
A guard would check on them every 20 minutes and bring their
meals and snacks to their cell.
They would have family visits in a suite built for that purpose.
They would have access to a library, weight room, spiritual counselling,
pool and education.
Simple clothing, shoes, slippers, PJ's and legal aid would be
free, on request.
Private, secure rooms for all, with an exercise outdoor yard,
with gardens.
Each senior could have a PC, a TV, radio and daily phone calls.
There would be a board of directors to hear complaints, and the
guards would have a code of conduct that would be strictly adhered to.
The criminals would get cold food, be left all alone and unsupervised.
Lights off at 8pm, and showers once a week. Live in a tiny room and
pay £600.00 per week and have no hope of ever getting out.
Think about this (more points of contention
COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during
the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in
Appleby almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the county
of Cumbria?
And, they even tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are
unable to locate 125,000 illegal immigrants wandering around our country.
Maybe we should give each of them a cow.
THE BRITISH CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for
It was drawn up by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for centuries and we're not using it anymore.
THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse or Parliament, is this -
You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal', 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians..... It creates a hostile work environment!
It isn't often that I make political comment, but I found the above quite relevant. Thanks to my friend Eileen for sending the stuff to me.
