A Pirate walked into a pub, and the barman said "We haven't seen you for a while, you look terrible"
The Pirate said "I feel absolutely fine"
"What about the Leg?"
"Ah a cannon ball took it during a bit of a battle" said the Pirate.
"And the Hook?"
"Well as we boarded a prize ship, one of the crew swung a cutlass and took my hand off!"
"Well what about the Eye patch?"
"Simple" said the Pirate, one day at sea, I looked up just as a flock of seagulls was flying by, and one of them pooped in my eye".
You don't lose an eye just because a seagull poops in it" said the Barman.
"Ah" said the Pirate, That was the first day I had the hook"
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